For Paul:
Kevin James. Mustache. Nuff said.
James mesmerizes with his classic physical antics and situation humor. Paul Blart is a hypoglycemic mall cop who rides a Segway. Blart wants nothing more than to become a police officer and find a lady, but can't seem to get it all together. Most of the movie is Blart goofing up and becoming the lovable loser. However, when the mall he patrols is taken over by a group of thieves, Blart has to become the hero to save his daughter and his love interest. You'll have to watch the flick to see how it plays out though.
My favorite part has to be when they show the video of Blart riding his Segway that his mother is adding to his online dating profile. Hilarious.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The King of Kong
The King of Kong is the most badass of badass documentaries. It’s the story of a true OG, Steve Wiebe, putting a punk ass bitch, Billy Mitchell, in his place. Yes, that’s right fuckers, we’re talking about obtaining the greatest achievement man kind has ever dared to dream, the high score in arcade style Donkey Kong.
Billy Mitchell, the once young prodigy, held the high score securely for 20 plus glorious years. Billy and his crew over at Twin Galaxies have been dominating the dojo, or game room, for as long as game rooms have existed. The crew includes Brian Kuh, who is a Billy Mitchell pretender, lackey, henchman, and all-around sad individual. Brian held the second highest score on Kong for a long period of time only to get waxed by all competitors. Brian also holds the record at Twin Galaxies for the longest streak of not getting laid, which when watching the movie you will see is the most amazing record of them all. Walter Day is the old veteran, head referee, creator of Twin Galaxies and provides the only sane voice through the movie; I use the word sane loosely but it’s the best you’re going to get from this movie.
Years later, brash unemployed family man of the year, Steve Wiebe (pronounced Wee-Bee), sets his sights on fame, fortune, and Kong. Steve starts off this tale being laid off from his position at Boeing the day his wife and him signed the papers on their new home. Not knowing what direction life would take him, he finds comfort in his garage playing Kong. Long hours and steady dedication put Steve in the position to challenge Billy for the world record.
This legendary movie has editing that cannot be match among like documentaries. Every cut and every track was placed just right to give the movie depth and the viewer a great ride.
Billy Mitchell, the once young prodigy, held the high score securely for 20 plus glorious years. Billy and his crew over at Twin Galaxies have been dominating the dojo, or game room, for as long as game rooms have existed. The crew includes Brian Kuh, who is a Billy Mitchell pretender, lackey, henchman, and all-around sad individual. Brian held the second highest score on Kong for a long period of time only to get waxed by all competitors. Brian also holds the record at Twin Galaxies for the longest streak of not getting laid, which when watching the movie you will see is the most amazing record of them all. Walter Day is the old veteran, head referee, creator of Twin Galaxies and provides the only sane voice through the movie; I use the word sane loosely but it’s the best you’re going to get from this movie.
Years later, brash unemployed family man of the year, Steve Wiebe (pronounced Wee-Bee), sets his sights on fame, fortune, and Kong. Steve starts off this tale being laid off from his position at Boeing the day his wife and him signed the papers on their new home. Not knowing what direction life would take him, he finds comfort in his garage playing Kong. Long hours and steady dedication put Steve in the position to challenge Billy for the world record.
This legendary movie has editing that cannot be match among like documentaries. Every cut and every track was placed just right to give the movie depth and the viewer a great ride.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
The Lord of the Rings (all 3)
Just when I thought wizards, elves, and hobbits couldn't get any gayer, Peter Jackson goes and pulls a stunt like this. If this is the fantasy world he wanted to create, then I'm pretty sure he is a homo. However, the movies are well made and it's also nice to know that Liv Tyler is still getting work even though it looks like she has been slightly "touched." Not touched, like by me sexually, but touched, like Corky from Life Goes On. Uppers: Epic battle scenes. Downers: All the male caressing following the battle scenes. At the end of the day it's pretty easy to tell that all the hobbits are gay for Gandalf.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Role Models
David Wain (Wet Hot American Summer) does an amazing job writing/directing along side Paul Rudd (Clueless) in this new comedy. Seann William Scott (Dude, Where’s My Car?) and Paul Rudd team up as co-workers that get arrested and sentenced to community service working with children. Christopher Mintz-Plasse (SuperBad) and Bobb’e J. Thompson (Fred Claus) play the two boys in the big brothers type program. Paul Rudd is paired up with Augie (Christopher) and is taught moral lessons through rousing matches of LAIRE. Stifler gets teamed up with Ronnie (Bobb’e) and learns about being a responsible adult and a playa. The ending to this movie is a shit storm of laughs and I highly recommend this film.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
The Deal
After a large amount of requests I'm starting a blog to discuss movies, both past and present. Those who know me understand that I will pretty much watch anything. This blog will discuss my recent viewings and give readers a good idea of what they can expect from the film.
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